


Time

by Dominatrix



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Ugh crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 19:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dominatrix/pseuds/Dominatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus always has time, he has got more than enough of it.</p>
<p>Alec, however, doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time

He could almost taste his presence in the room, like he could taste the first hints of snow in the air when the sky had not even decided to send the little flakes down on earth. To Magnus, he was like the very first snow the warlock had experienced in his life. It still was a miracle to him that he should have chosen him.  
But this time something was not right at all, Magnus could feel it in the way Alec hesitated behind him, not even touching his back with his fingertips like he used to do it when he tried to sneak up behind Magnus although he knew it in the splinter of a second when Alec entered the room. The sparks on his skin told him far more than enough.

With a silent sigh on his lips he turned around and looked in the face of his favourite shadow hunter. His heart dropped when he saw that Alec’s expression was careworn and full of doubt.

„Do you have a moment?“

His voice was weak, almost breaking and far more hoarse than an eighteen-year-old’s voice should be.

„I think you’re still missing the point in being immortal, Alexander. I always have a moment.“

A painful spark in his ice-blue eyes flickered up only for a second before it was replaced by this terrible casualness his gaze had shown before.

There was their whole problem in a nutshell, and Magnus wished he hadn’t spoken out the words, that he could just collect the words back together, put them in a dark corner and make them forget these words even existed. But he couldn’t. The permanent hideousness of this thought clouded their minds when they woke up, intertwined in a tender embrace because Magnus couldn’t stand to sleep alone, not after centuries in which he had spent the nights all on his own.

„I’m sorry“ Magnus whispered lowly and actually it didn’t matter whether Alec could hear it or not because it made no difference whether Magnus was sorry or desperate or shattered to the bone. Alec was still mortal and Magnus was still immortal and they still had no idea how to handle that. Because in the end they knew how it had to end although they didn’t want to end it like this.

Alec would die.

The security of this one single, breathtaking truth was more than Magnus ever had to face.

There were days when they would scream at each other until their throats were hoarse and their hearts broken by the things the other had said.

There were days when they would just cry, cry in each other’s arms, and Magnus would be torn between the desire to leave right now because it would be better to make a clean cut than see Alec suffering and the wish to never see the world again because nothing was just as bittersweet as lying in Alec’s arms and crying with him about a love they both knew they would lose.

But there were also days like today, when Magnus just walked towards Alec and pulled him in his arms to feel that Alec was still there, that he wasn’t gone like Magnus dreamed at night, waking up with a sour taste in his mouth and hot tears streaming down his face, only calmed by Alec’s arms around his body as he managed to get him back into sleep again.

Magnus didn‘t even try to stand upright or have his shoulders squared because it was okay to fall apart right in front of Alec’s eyes.  
There was nothing to fear anymore when you know you’re going to lose everything in the end anyway.

Magnus knew that they had no future, not in the long run; but it were moments like these – Alec’s arms around him, his hands clenching in the young shadow hunter’s back, far too painful to be still loving, but the only opportunity to show Magnus that Alec was actually there with him - in which he just didn’t care.


End file.
